Labor Day

It's Labor Day--the day of rest that celebrates labor...the last hurrah of summer. Don't miss Rachel's devo about God's plan for labor and rest. (Note: Most of you may already know, but you can subscribe to have Proverbs 31 Ministries' devotions and have them sent to your email box each day. There's a link to subscribe at the bottom of the devotion today if you'd like to take advantage of this easy way to get it.)

Along the way, I had heard many times that work was part of the curse. I had internalized that "truth" until one day I heard a pastor point out that God had actually given work as a gift to Adam in the garden. Adam's job was to tend the garden. Genesis 2:15 says, "The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden to work it and take care of it." (NIV)

Can you imagine the pleasure? Naming the newly formed animals, pruning the lush trees and picking clean the laden branches might have been some of his chores.

Until sin.

Sin was the game-changer, and Adam and Eve were banished from the garden. Hard, back-breaking, sweat-producing work was part of the curse of sin.

How is the Christian to respond? Well, I believe that God's redemption from sin needs to show in every area of our lives including our work. As a Christian, I need to be the best, most conscientious, most hard-working employee (or writer, or housekeeper, or mother...) possible.

What does that look like? I've had several jobs over the years that weren't naturally giving me pleasure. I'd go through the normal ups and downs of loving my job and then not-so-much. Those not-so-much periods drove me to my knees begging God to either put me in a new place of work or to help change my attitude. In one job I had God change my attitude amazingly after several slumps. He is so faithful. In my last job, I prayed and prayed that God would help me to work with all my heart as I was finishing. It was a job that had been a struggle, but I wanted to finish well. Again, God came through. I want to teach, write, market, clean, cook and do laundry with the joy that God has given me.

Why is it important to find joy in our work? Christians are called to reflect Jesus to the world in everything we do. I need to find joy, meaning and purpose in my work to reflect that Jesus can give something different. He can redeem us from the curse in every area of life.

I hope you all have a great labor day. We started with s'mores at the fire pit last night, but we'll probably do some labor in the yard today. What are your plans?

Friendships for Seasons

I went to a site this morning to look for a friendship poem that was running around in the back of my mind. It talks about friends being there for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Here's the funny thing...sad really. The comments that followed the poem posted on someone else's blog were a huge mud-slinging fight over who wrote the poem. There were several "authors" each claiming to have written the original poem in a different year.

I just thought how interesting it was to have such acrimony over a poem about friendship. It's funny that it points to the truth. Friendships are one of the most valuable human experiences, but they are also one of the most tricky. It can be one of the things that gives the most joy in life and one that causes the most heart ache.

My friend John said one time, "I want to mature, not just grow older." Part of my process in the struggle to gain maturity and not just wrinkles is my outlook on friendship. In the last few years, I have really been working to embrace the idea of the poem I was looking for. Not all friendships last a lifetime, and I want to be ok with that. I want to value each friendship for what it is or for what it was.

I'm realizing that only a small handful of women are the ones that I'll still be close to when I'm old, but that I can reflect thankfully on a lifetime of friendships--

My childhood friends who shared secrets and firsts.

My college friends who shared dorm rooms and early independence.

My teaching friends who shared lesson plans and the joys and frustrations of a room full of children.

My toddler days friends who shared play groups and recipes.

My soccer field friends who shared cheering and consoling.

My church friends who shared faith, growth and lessons.

My neighbor friends who shared yard work, chats on the porch and split perrenials.

I want to cherish them all and look back with love rather than regret or bitterness over ones that have faded. I have to confess that sometimes it's hard to let go with completely open hands, but that's my goal.

How are you dealing with friendships that have faded away? Do you ever struggle with that like I do?

I'm so challenged by this time issue and how it affects my relationships. It's definitely a place of struggle for me, but these are some things that I'm considering as I try to live life intentionally:

Our Calendar
First, we need to start each day by asking God to set our agenda. Instead of coming to God with our full calendars for His blessing, we need to come with a blank calendar and ask Him to fill it. You see, we can trust God to give us the strength and ability to do each task that He’s called us to accomplish. He is our portion, and we will have everything we need if we don’t try to outwork the provision of His portion. Jeremiah wisely said it like this, “I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’” (Lamentations 3:24 NIV)

Our Commitments
We also need to experience the freedom to say “no”. I had a pastor say something which has really helped me in this area. He said, “When you say ‘yes’ to something which is not God’s assignment for you, you block the person who is truly called to that assignment.” I had never thought of “no” as a positive word before! When I prayerfully say “no” to someone’s request, I have done the very good thing of leaving that assignment open for the one who is called. Remember that the next time you need to say “no”, and you will be able to release the weight of responsibility and walk away free.

Our Priorities
Finally, we need to be flexible and be prepared to have our agenda interrupted. Jesus is the perfect model for this idea. Some of His most powerful and memorable interactions with people happened on the way to do something else. The woman at the well (John 4:1-26) and the woman with an issue of blood (Luke 8:40-48) are just two examples.

God’s agenda for me on any given day may include a child with a heart broken from teasing, a friend who has just received a grave diagnosis, a co-worker who is struggling with her marriage, or a husband who needs encouragement. We have to be intentional about recognizing these interruptions and stopping to meet the need in order to build strong relationships. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I was so busy that I didn't notice,” rings hollow and leaves people with a sad realization of where they fall on our list of priorities. “Of course I have time for you,” is a phrase that fills the most discouraged heart with joy.

I believe our time issues largely become non-issues when we let God set our agenda, we learn to say no and we make time for divine interruptions. Even though it sometimes requires sacrifice, when our time priorities matching our relationship values there becomes space and air for those relationships to grow and thrive.

Thank you so much to everyone who left a comment on friendship. Ya'll have given me a lot of food for thought. I used Random.org to generate a random number (6), and Christie Aug. 27 at 5:13 pm is the winner! Christie, email me your mailing address, and I'll have Rachel's book sent to you from our office.

Our Biggest Friendship Struggle

I have really loved reading your answers to these questions. I'd love to extend the contest for one more day, and I'll announce the randomly drawn winner on Wednesday for a copy of Rachel Olsen's new book It's No Secret. Please leave a comment on Friday's post with your name and email if you'd like to add to the discussion.

I wasn't surprised to read that most of you said that time is the biggest struggle in your friendships, because I would say the same thing. I'm an extrovert who would love nothing more that a schedule full of coffee and lunch dates with my friends, but real life interrupts!

This week I want to share some thoughts about time that I wrote earlier this summer. Food for thought for those of us with this struggle...

I was attending a Christian conference where the facilitator gave us a startling exercise. For step one, he ask us to write our top five priorities in any order. I quickly wrote the things that most people in the room were probably writing: God, family, friends, work, church. Done.

In the next step of the exercise, the facilitator asked the group to number their priorities in order with1 being the highest to 5 being the lowest. Hmmm… This was a little harder. I knew what I should write, but I wanted to try to be very honest. I deliberated for a few minutes and then ranked my priorities.

It was the last step that was the real eye-opener. The facilitator gave the last instruction, “Now number your priorities in the order that you spend time on them with 1 being where you spend the most time and 5 being where you spend the least.” I sat stunned, because the purpose of the exercise had suddenly become clear. I knew that the truth was right before me. The real order of my priorities was revealed by how I spend my time.

Time. What a struggle our culture has with time! As Americans we have more conveniences, more appliances and more technology than ever before to help us save time and yet we seem busier and more strung out than ever. Os Guinness, the author of Prophetic Untimeliness, writes, “Today at the high noon of modern life, time in the clock-driven world has become so precise and coordinated that it’s all around us, driving us from behind, pulling us from in front, pressing us from above, and squeezing us from all sides. The gods on our wrists have become in the words of Charles Baudelaire, ‘the sinister god.’”

How in the world are we to reverse this trend? How are we called to live by sacrificing our time to build relationships? I believe it’s by taking a hard, honest look at our priorities and our values and beginning to live what we say we believe. I cannot in all honesty say that I value building deep, out of the box friendships while I spend little to no time on those relationships.

My problem is probably the same as yours. I often have more on my agenda or calendar than I can really accomplish. The title of that little book The Tyranny of the Urgent could sometimes be the banner of my life. I so easily get caught up in the little things—phone calls, email, Facebook, laundry, running errands—that the important things go by the wayside. And what are the important things? The people around me.

I once heard Martha Lawley, an accomplished author and speaker, say, “What if we could tiptoe into God’s office and peek into His day timer for our lives? What would be on God’s calendar for me?” She followed with a question that continues to rock me. “And what would not be on God’s calendar for me?”

I think that’s the critical question if we’re serious about getting our time in order with our priorities. What am I currently doing that is not in God’s plan for me? You and I get into trouble when we step outside of God’s plan and begin adding our own agenda. Our snags come when we begin to say “yes” to those things which should be a “no”.

If we were to ask God to list His agenda, I believe it’s consistent with scripture to say that relationship would be very high on the list. I want more than anything for my priorities to begin to match His priorities. If that’s what you want too, then I think we’ve got to do several things to get our agendas synched with His.

Make New Friends and Keep the Old

Do you remember that old Girl Scouts song?

Make new friends but keep the old,
One is silver and the other gold.

Let's sing it in a round now! :)

I've been thinking a lot about friendships lately, and this morning it's at the top of my brain as I go to meet a new friend for coffee. It's made me curious about your friendships, too. I've got a few questions for you and a treat, too.

If you'll answer these questions, I'll put your name in a hat for a drawing for Rachel Olsen's brand spankin' new book It's No Secret. (She's giving away one on her blog, too, so you have 2 chances to win!)

1. How do you keep in touch with your closest friends?
2. How do you meet new friends?
3. What is your greatest struggle with your friendships?

Make sure to give me your name and email so that I can contact you if your the winner. I hope you get time with a friend after you answer these questions today!