Deborah

You never know when someone is watching. My last story about mentors is about someone who never scheduled a single appointment with me, moved into my backyard or let me park my tooshy in her office. Deborah never even knew she was influencing me, but she's had a lasting effect on my life and marriage.

I heard through the grapevine that Deborah had vowed to never speak negatively of her husband. She may have sought godly counsel for problems in her marriage, but she had promised herself to never complain, deride or whine about her husband. Now this piece of news may have come during a gripe session with my girlfriends about our husbands. Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! It seems to be a favorite pastime even amongst church girls to get in a group and complain about socks on the floor, birthdays missed and football Saturdays parked on the couch. I can't remember specifically, but I think that this piece of information about Deborah was told somewhat sceptically.

I was impressed, though, so I started to watch her. Both of our husbands are musicians, so our paths crossed at church with regularity. I listened as Deborah gave encouragement directly to her husband. I tuned in when I heard her praise him in groups of other women. I watched her smile brilliantly at him while he performed. After some time, I realized that Deborah was a woman of her word. She was the best example of an encouraging, positive, loving wife that I had seen.

There was one other thing that I noticed as I watched this couple. Deborah's decision to honor her husband bore some amazing fruit. Her husband absolutely adored her. Even though they had been married for years and had a house full of children, they acted like newly-weds. You could tell how much they enjoyed each other's company. They laughed and joked a lot and were very affectionate.

Deborah's vow and how she lived it out helped me as a young, married woman to make a decision to follow her example. I can't say that I've never slipped up, but God always seems to convict me even as harsh words fly out of my mouth. When we're going through a rough patch, it's incredible how speaking well of Barry builds my love and respect for him. It refocuses my attention on the many fine qualities that drew me to him in the first place and relegates any gripes to their proper love-covered place.

Retelling Deborah's story today reminds me that others are watching me even when I don't know it. They're looking to see if my actions live up to my words. It's a high calling that Jesus calls us to when we follow Him, but I'm thankful that others have paved the way with their example as I continue the journey.