God's Perfect Work

Oswald Chamber's words once again spoke directly to my situation today. He says, "It is a snare to imagine that God wants to make us perfect specimens of what He can do; God's purpose is to make us one with Himself....If it was God's will to bruise His own Son, why should He not buise you? The thing that tells for God is not your relevant consistency to an idea of what a sait should be, but your real vital relations to Jesus Christ, and your abandonment to Him whether you are well or ill."

I've been both well and ill in the last two days. I struggled mightily with disappointment yesterday as I received another rejection letter from a publisher, but I was filled with joy this morning with a much-needed financial blessing.

It's easy for me to praise in times of joy, but yesterday was a test. For quite a while, I could feel emotions of disappointment and failure mingle with anger and bitterness toward God. Writing this book is something that I've wanted so much and something that I also felt was a desire created by God.

I don't know why God is choosing this path for me, but I finally addressed my soul as it roiled with emotion, "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." (Psalm 116: 7)

Although I'd like to narrowly define "good" as getting my way, I know that God is not a cosmic Santa but rather a wise heavenly Father. He gives me good truly good gifts even though I'm sometimes on the naughty list! In this case, God's good gift is that I not write a book right now. It took a few hours, but I really do trust that this is true.

I don't want to boast at all, but I was happy to read Oswald's words this morning and know that my real, vital relation to Jesus was intact after my disappointment. The reason that excites me is not at all because I've done something wonderful but rather that it reveals God's work in me. My usual, past m.o. has been to withdraw from relationship rather than to face the negative emotions and lay them at His feet. Lord, continue Your work! (Although, Jesus, I'd like to request a little reprieve from disappointment asthe means if that's possible.)