Do you remember that old Girl Scouts song?
Make new friends but keep the old,
One is silver and the other gold.
Let's sing it in a round now! :)
I've been thinking a lot about friendships lately, and this morning it's at the top of my brain as I go to meet a new friend for coffee. It's made me curious about your friendships, too. I've got a few questions for you and a treat, too.
If you'll answer these questions, I'll put your name in a hat for a drawing for Rachel Olsen's brand spankin' new book It's No Secret. (She's giving away one on her blog, too, so you have 2 chances to win!)
- How do you keep in touch with your closest friends?
- How do you meet new friends?
- What is your greatest struggle with your friendships?
Make sure to give me your name and email so that I can contact you if your the winner. I hope you get time with a friend after you answer these questions today!
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28 comments:
Lucky for me I work with my two best friends. Our friendship has grown trememendously over the last 15 years together through marriages, birth of children, infidelity, infertility, divorce and even the day to day grind of work. Through it all, we've been able to support each other in ways un-imaginable. We can laugh together and cry together. There are times we can just go to lunch together and not even have to speak but just being there with them is a blessing. I thank God for these two ladies in my life and pray for them daily. Even on those days when things can go just completely wrong, i know I can either call them or find them at work and they can always bring a smile to my face despite whatever hardship I am facing.
Oh Amy, this very thing as been on my mind for months now! My job over the past 20 years has caused me to let most of my old girlfriends slip away due to traveling and working late hours. Currently though, I keep up with friends through Facebook (which I am grateful), I meet new friends through work or through my Church, and the greatest struggle would be having time to spend with friends. Thank you for the reminder, especially the Girl Scout song! I need to slow down and make time for my friends. God Bless!
My best friends we try to get together with our families every other month. But in between we email and sometimes talk on the phone. Our biggest struggle is making the time and commitment to keep our monthly dinners on schedule
To answer your questons:
1) I keep in touch with my closests friends by shopping with one - she helps me pick out clothes that says I look good in and I do the same for her. Then we have lunch - she calls me daily too as she drives home from work. Other friends I see during Power Hour (that is our Sunday School Class)and other church functions. I e-mail a couple of friends that I had in the Navy; it is good that we still keep in touch.
2. I meet new friends just by talking to them - I have "never met a stranger". Unfortunately there some of them remain "acquaintes" and not friends.
3. My struggle with friendships is that they are "busy" so much of the time that we really don't get to spend that much time together.
Also my husband and I have been praying for a "couple" just do something with. Our age group - the couples spend time with their grandchildren or busy with jobs. We don't have grandkids - we are in our 50's but my son cannot have children. Also Facebook is just not personal enough - I like it to say hi - but I prefer so much a phone call or a visit (no one seems just to go to houses to visit anymore. My Mother and Dad alwys had that...
1) I have moved around a lot so this can be difficult... I try to call, write cards, email, facebook... text, and if they are in the city I try to arrange coffee dates with them to chat.
2) I meet a lot of women in my neighborhood by going to neighborhood functions. We host a bunco group, bible study, and book club which gives me an opportunity. Also work, chuch, and sometimes just striking up conversations in starbucks.
3) My greatest struggle seems to be finding the time. We all want to get together and chat, but often times it is difficult to make each other a priority over husbands, kids, work, etc. I am working on this myself and trying to make time every week even if it's just for a hand written note.
1. How do you keep in touch with your closest friends? Due to the nature of our ministry I have lived like a gypsy since graduating from college, moving every two to three years. I keep in touch with my dearest friends via email, facebook and if I'm lucky a phone call on the way to the grocery store while all are strapped to their seats. Ha! I KNOW this doesn't compare to a cup of coffee over a shared box of Kleenex, but due to the limitations of states and continents it's all I can get.
2. How do you meet new friends? Since moving to Charleston I have met friends by joining a weekly women's bible study at our church and through conversations with other mommies on the preschool hall.
3. What is your greatest struggle with your friendships? Time. I find it hard to juggle three little ones, cleaning and my favorite pastime...laundry! I have also come to a place where I'm not sure what I have to offer in a conversation if it doesn't deal with children. In this season of life building friendships with any real depth requires time and consistency, which seem to be two things I am unable to give.
That song brought back so many memories of my years in the Girl Scouts. I keep in touch with my friends by texting and phone calls. I meet new friends through work, church, and daily activities. The greatest struggle with my friendships is making time for each other.
Arlinda
ArliFos75@gmail.com
I'm just basking in the glow of enjoying coffee with a new friend!! God is sooooo good!
I believe its important to have those special friends in our lives. The telephone is probably the most used way for me to keep up with those friends, then lunch occasionally. Once every month or two we meet for a girls night out.
I am a Gold Canyon Demonstrator and host home parties. This is how I have met most of my new friends. And of course thru church & at the grocery. My biggest struggle is finding time to be the friend I would like to have. One thing i've learned about a true friend is this. No matter if a lot of time passes between us keeping in touch, when we do again, it starts right where we left off,& the bond between us keeps getting stronger.
grammy.25@comcast.net
*Planning times to get together. Sometimes the last minute get togethers work the best. Calling and saying can you meet now for coffee? Conversations on the phone. Texts to say I'm thinking about you and praying for your day.
*Inviting to an event. Taking opportunity to ask how they are doing. Thinking of all times I am at the soccer field.
*Struggles are the lifestage we are in w/kids and busyness. My schedule varies w/work so making evening commitments is hard. Darla
I keep in touch with my closest friends mainly through emails and occasional phone calls. I do not like to have long convos on the phone though. FB helps for those who like FB.
New friends: usually through my children...the mothers of their friends.
Greatest struggle: I don't like to do lunch or coffee, i prefer to do something active like run with a friend or walk...and some friends are just not runners or walkers. I don't like to shop with friends.
biggest problem is i really don't like talking on the phone so I have a hard time returning missed calls from friends if i think it will most likely be long winded.
Melanie Dorsey
mdorsey@tampabay.rr.com
I just found your blog via a friend. This is an interesting question.
I left many friends behind when my family moved. So we keep in tough mostly via email, blogging, and facebook.
As I meet women in our new location, I try to arrange family get-togethers or occasional evening coffee dates. Everyone is so busy! Most of my conversations take place at church, or while dropping off/picking up kids at activities.
My friend Rhonda Bennett emailed me to say:
How do you keep in touch with your closest friends? I am lucky enough to live with my best friend-my husband of over twenty four years!! We are as close as we have ever been, and now enjoying a brand new honeymoon phase as our daughter just went off to college. A lot of contact with other friends through facebook as some of my closest friends have moved to different states. I also have one friend who lives here and we see each other almost weekly. Kathy and I usually keep in touch by phone, but often in person as well. We worship together, pray together, cry together and laugh together. At times we go weeks without talking as we both lead very busy lives.We can always pick up right where we left off.
How do you meet new friends? Church is my primary way of meeting new friends. I don't make friends easily, as old wounds keep me from opening my heart sometimes.
What is your greatest struggle with your friendships? Finding time to keep in touch with my career demands and home commitments. In addition, I find many women to be fake and superficial-two really big turn offs for me. Women often spend time tearing each other down instead of building each other up. I find I make friends much more easily with males.
I don't think I make friends very easily. It's not that I don't want to, but the area we live in seems to be a hard place to make new friends. I do have a really close friend and we try to see each other every couple of weeks and talk on the phone or email weekly. I have some casual friends at church and work but no one I would consider close. I think that is the biggest struggle I have with friendship. I would like to become closer but just can't seem to do so.
Deb V
dvolkman@bright.net
To keep in touch with my closest friends I usually email them and occasionally I will call them.
I have a very hard time meeting new friends.
My biggest struggle with my friendships is that I live several hours away from my closest friends so I rarely get to see them. I don't have friends at church who I go out with.
JenniferReneeRodd@gmail.com
These were some eye opening, hard questions for me. I tend to hold back on making new friends. I have a hard time getting close to people. I even feel lately that the I am drifting away from the one close friend I have. Would appreciate your prayers.
Kim
Amy,
I actually addressed these questions at the beginning of my 2010 year. I realized that I love my friends, but that I waited on them to call or email for a lunch or coffee date. So...
1) I decided that to keep up with my old friends, I plan a GNO (girls night out!) once a month to have dinner, go to a movie, or do some fun activity together. I make it a priority to invite, schedule, and plan the night. It has proven to be very helpful in maintaining these relationships that need cultivating.
2) I meet new friends by meeting parents of my kids' friends or women at church.
3) My greatest struggle is that I am a wide open sanguine personality and I would rather spend a little time with a lot of different people, than a lot of time with a few. Sometimes this is not taken well from friends that have very loyal personalities. I love them all and try to schedule coffee and lunch dates with as many possible! (And I am in part-time ministry!)
Thanks for the great subject! Like a lot of readers here, this too has been on my heart as I feel like I'm in a different "life cycle" than a lot of my high school and college friends. My husband and I now have 2 children when a lot of our close friends aren't even married yet.
How do I stay in touch with close friends? Phone, e-mail and facebook.
Meet new friends? Church, work, small groups, and through my children. It helps to have a play date with other parents and give the kids a chance to make friends, too!
Struggle with friends? As I mentioned before, a lot of my close friends that I've had are simply in another place in their life. While I have to balance family, husband, work and friends I simply don't have the time or flexibility to go out to dinners often or coffee during the day.
Thanks again!!
I keep up with my friends through all the usual methods. Face-to-face is the hardest to schedule.
I've made new friends recently by starting a new job, having new neighbors and meeting new people at church.
Time is a big struggle as well as finding true friendships that stand the test of time-change in lifesytle, family dynamics etc.
Cheryl Armstrong
caa24@hotmail.com
To keep in touch with my closest friends, I try to call, e-mail and Facebook message them - besides seeing them at either church, Bible study, or special-needs' support groups.
I make new friends through different ladies' Bible studies at a couple different churches; through a support group (my younger daughter has Down syndrome); and in my neighborhood.
The struggles I have with friendships is finding enough time (on both my or my friends' ends) to get together, and to connect on a deeply spiritual level.
Would love to win the book, Amy!
Thanks, Andrea
I keep in touch with my friends best with Facebook and my cellphone.
Making friends is tricky when I'm at work all day (in a high school).
Finding for real genuine friends is another toughy!
I NEED REAL FRIENDS...I have plenty of surface superficial ones.
1. How do you keep in touch with your closest friends?
I like to send little notes letting my friends know I am thinking of them, like cards in snail mail, emails, and texts. Most of my friends I see either in seeing family or fellowship.
2. How do you meet new friends?
Meeting new friends has always been a challenge for me. I might meet someone and feel like I'd like to get to know them better but feel that it's either hard to get time with that person, or am unsure the want to develop a friendship is reciprocated.
3. What is your greatest struggle with your friendships?
I think my greatest struggle is feeling unworthy of friendships that I really desire to develop or deepen.
Thanks for this post and today's (Monday's) post, Amy!
Awww, yes friends. An area I have struggled with this past year. In developing a stronger relationship with God I have redefined my meaning of friendship, which is the reason for my struggle. Some of my friends do not exactly meet this new criteria and I am realizing they are not exactly supportive of me. On the other hand through Facebook I have reconnected with some acquaintes from high school who have turned out to be my most cherished friends. We are meeting together in each other's homes, kicking the rest of the family out for two hours, and bonding together through discussing a book together. We are currently finishing "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World." Developing these new friendships has definitely been an answer to my prayers and I can only hope that God has more in store for our group. Godly women who are supportive of each other are out there we just have to ask God to guide us to them.
Ooops left off my name and email address
Leah Branaman
lbranaman@yahoo.com
Most of my closest friends do not live nearby so
e-mail, calls, etc. are necessary. Meeting/making new friends is something I am not very good at and I find it challenging with children to have a social life at all! Their social lives are infinitely more active!
Help!
Geralyn
1. I mostly keep in touch with my best friends through e-mail. I also try to send Christmas cards and birthday cards as appropriate, but I am not always successful with that.
2. I have made new friends the past 20 years through my children! Now that my youngest is a senior in high school I'm not sure what I will do. It is something I think about and worry about too.
3. My struggle with friends is that we are all so busy. Either with kids, spouses, jobs, or just life that it always seems to be hard to get together in person.
Kate S.
katesinc@embarqmail.com
1.How do you keep in touch with your closest friends? By text and email. How sad. Having two toddlers at home with a married but childless best girl friend has its struggles for sure.
2.How do you meet new friends? I don't. I'm so much of a loner at times. My best friend is my husband and he is all I can really handle right now with two toddlers.
3.What is your greatest struggle with your friendships? That I can't open up and confide like I might like to do. Trust is a huge issue.
Friendships are very important to me. I never knew the value until I came back to church about 4.5 years ago after a few/several years of doing things my own way. God blessed me with the most amazing group of friends. We enjoy spending time together, eating, shopping, praying, family get togethers, starbucks. We try to get together atleast once a month for girls night out. The accountability we share with one another is priceless. We all need encouragement from time to time and a friendship/support group is very important. Over the last four years we have been through some very hard things together...near death experience of one of our children, a house fire from another, death of parents, loss of a high profile job, bankruptcy with another...but it was all so much more bearable since we had each other to lean on. We started a ministry around this frienship.."Sisters by Heart" that allows other women in our community to experience godly friendships, a night out away from home...it is really a joy to see what God is doing around this friendship that was born a few years back. I believe that each of us would say that we are blessed beyond measure!
Michele Clark
Virginia
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