Leaves, Pumpkins and Other Yumminess of Fall

Usually I do it on Sept. 1. I look forward to the day when all the seashells get packed back into the attic. I pour the sand from my center-piece into a ziplock, and drag the box labled "fall" out.

For some reason, I'm late this year. Maybe it's because it's been over 90 degrees most days in Sept. here in NC. It's been blazing hot and dry, dry, dry, so I didn't feel like pumpkins and mums just yet.

Yesterday Barry let me know that he'll be having a meeting at our house today. Although the men who are coming could care less about the layer of dust that has settled on to every surface, it was the push that I needed to do some overdue cleaning and break out the fall.

I enjoy my house the most in the fall. Our walls are officially "camel", but they lean toward gold, and I have reds and greens and browns scattered around. Fall brings out the warm and cozy, and I love it.

So I'm sitting on my couch by the bank of windows this morning typing away, listening to the rain and sipping coffee with some candles lit. Fall is here. Why do you love fall?

This Is Your Brain on Twitter

I just read the most fascinating blog post when I was looking for info on our brain chemistry when we're interacting with social networking.

There's this professor, Dr. Paul Zak (aka Dr. Love) who has pioneered a new field called neuroeconomics, the study of our brain chemistry on consumerism.

In his almost decade long study, he has found that when we are using social networking (Facebook, Twitter, etc), our brains are flooded with oxytocin. Oxytocin is nicknamed the "cuddle chemical", because it's the biological chemical long known to create the strong bond between mothers and their babies. Now Dr. Zak says that it also creates empathy, generosity and trust.

The interesting thing is that oxytocin (I keep wanting to call it oxycontin!) is released in our brains when we're engaged in social networking.

"Your brain interpreted tweeting as if you were directly interacting with people you cared about or had empathy for," Zak says. "E-connection is processed in the brain like an in-person connection."

I think there's a warning that goes with this information. It turns out that oxytocin is also somewhat addicting. In a study where 200 college students were asked to give up social networking for a day, some of them had withdrawal symptoms. We need to ask ourselves, "Am I using social networking to actually build relationships or because my brain is hooked to a love-like rush?"

Don't get me wrong. I think either answer can be true, but I want to make sure that I'm developing real love relationships rather than love-like relationships. I've only got a limited amount of time to invest, and I'm doing some self-examination to make sure I'm investing in the right places.

Friends for Life

Some days are just too much to blog. On Wednesday, I was in a no-good-reason funk, and I didn't have anything constructive to say. So I followed our mamas' rule and didn't say anything at all. And that's all I have to say about that.

It's so funny, because lots of mornings I wake up and have bloggers block and yet there is a world of things to write about.

A small group of us at our church meet together once a month to talk about writing and speaking. It's actually turned into mostly a writing group, and it's a gathering that I treasure. We're women of different decades and backgrounds, but once a month our hearts are joined by a common thread.

As we talked about our life stories last night, my friend Ann would say, "You could blog about that." or "That's a story you should tell." She was such an encouragement to me, and it was a reminder that often it's our every day life that speaks with the most eloquence. Here's a little slice of life that she encouraged me to tell:

You all know that I've been on a kick of thinking about friendships. In the last few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about my friend Josie. She was my best friend from fourth grade on. She was the friend that made me laugh until we rolled on the floor. She was the friend who heard all my secrets. Josie was the friend who got incorporated into my family like I was incorporated into hers.

I have an absolutely terrible memory, but I've been trying to think of Josie stories. The one that I remember best is our friendship contract. Josie and I wrote a I-will-be-your-friend-to-the-end-of-our-lives-amen contract. We folded it up really small to fit into a tiny box that we hid in a secret place in my desk.

Josie is one of those friends that still resides in a big section of my heart even though we're only loosely in touch today. I love her and her place in my life. Got any friends or friendship memories like that?

Simple

KISS

Keep it simple silly (the other word isn't nice!)

I have been contemplating simplicity of late. One of my current favorite books, Made to Stick, makes simplicity their number one principal for conveying messages that stay with people. It's seems obvious, but we so often complicate things. Chip and Dan Heath say to find the core of a message and convey it in a simple way that contains wisdom--like a proverb.

"Simple" is something that can be used by anybody with a message--homeschoolers, teachers, preachers, speakers, salemen...

Any Jesus follower.

We all have the most precious message entrusted to humans. And we have the most beautifully simple message. God loves you, and He has reached out and made a way for you to be in a close love relationship with Him. Jesus is that way.

Christians are the only religion that has such an amazing message. Every other world religion has a long list of rules and requirements to try to reach God.

If you're like me, you may have trouble remembering Bible references when you're talking to someone about Jesus. Today our Sunday school class studies Ephes. 2:1-10. That's it! The simplicity of the entire gospel in one spot. Read it and share our exquisitely simple message today:

1 Once you were dead, doomed forever because of your many sins. 2 You used to live just like the rest of the world, full of sin, obeying Satan, the mighty prince of the power of the air. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. 3 All of us used to live that way, following the passions and desires of our evil nature. We were born with an evil nature, and we were under God's anger just like everyone else. 4 But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, 5 that even while we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God's special favor that you have been saved!) 6 For he raised us from the dead along with Christ, and we are seated with him in the heavenly realms -- all because we are one with Christ Jesus. 7 And so God can always point to us as examples of the incredible wealth of his favor and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us through Christ Jesus. 8 God saved you by his special favor when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10 For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

A Contest for Speaker Girls

Who would listen to my message and help me make it better? Who would proofread my bio sheet and help me with what I think it the excruciating process of writing about yourself? Who can make a cd for me or design my blog?

These are all questions that I've asked over the years as I've worked on growing as a speaker. I'm a very blessed girl to have a team of other women who have spoken longer than I have and who are willing to help and guide.

I had a growing concern, though, for women with the same questions who didn't have a team. There are so many of you out there laboring for the Kingdom who work without the benefit of a team. Next Step Speaker Services grew out of my desire to share what I've learned along the way, and Karen Ehman's heart has joined mine in this endeavor.

I'd so appreciate your feedback on the new site, and I'd love to give you speaker girls a free resource. Go to the new speaker blog to see details about our contest. If you subscribe to the blog, you get entered once. If you fill out our survey and subscribe, you get two entries for our fabulous prize. One person will win the service of their choice for free!!!

Opening the Lid on the God-Box

Extreme friendships...

Extreme worship...


Extreme team...




Extremely funny...

After my kids come home from our youth events, I always ask them, "What's the one big thing that God taught you?" I want to share my one big thing.

God is too big to be put in a box.

I like order and organization. I'm a lover of clarifying, decluttering and lists. But God often doesn't work within the confines of my checklists OR my preconceptions. This was one of those weekends where He simply busted the lid off my God-box.

The best story to illustrate my lesson started when Carol Davis and I were learning how to stretch a canvas for our artist. Carol stood up to stretch and said, "Amy, Luann and some man are stretched out on the floor face-down praying."

The custodian for the church had walked through on the way to empty the trash can when he stopped to talk to Luann as she set up the book table. One of the books had caught his eye, and he asked Lu if he could buy it for his daughter.

After a long conversation about this troubled young woman, Luann suggested that they pray, and this broken-hearted man stretched out prostrate in his grief. Luann prayed (I'm sure as only Luann can pray) and then invited this man's daughter (I'll call her K) and wife to the event.

We were disappointed when they didn't come on Friday night but elated when they introduced themselves on Saturday. That day was K's spiritual birthday! Tears streamed down her face as Luann introduced her to the whole group as their new sister and charged them to love and teach her.

Extreme...

Unexpectedness as the work began before the event.
Boldness as Luann engaged this man and probed deep into his heart.
Drawing as God brought K and her tired mother into His presence.
Joy as we celebrated new Life!!

If you've got a Facebook page, you can check out a hilarious (anything Carol does is guaranteed to make you laugh) video log at the Encouragement Cafe page.

Road Trip Extreme

This morning I'm packing my suitcase to head to Nashville with Luann Prater and the Encouragement Extreme crew. If you live in the Nashville area, come join us. You can get a ticket at the door tomorrow evening. You can get the details here.

Unfortunately, I'm on the run to get my sweet doggie to Country Garden Bed and Biscuit and to get a list of errands done before I leave. I'd love to redirect you to read the Next Step Speaker Services blog post. It's something that lots of people can use. It's applicable to any kind of communication, so if you teach Sunday school, lead a Bible study, speak to your colleagues or have any kind of messages to get across check it out.

Labor Day

It's Labor Day--the day of rest that celebrates labor...the last hurrah of summer. Don't miss Rachel's devo about God's plan for labor and rest. (Note: Most of you may already know, but you can subscribe to have Proverbs 31 Ministries' devotions and have them sent to your email box each day. There's a link to subscribe at the bottom of the devotion today if you'd like to take advantage of this easy way to get it.)

Along the way, I had heard many times that work was part of the curse. I had internalized that "truth" until one day I heard a pastor point out that God had actually given work as a gift to Adam in the garden. Adam's job was to tend the garden. Genesis 2:15 says, "The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden to work it and take care of it." (NIV)

Can you imagine the pleasure? Naming the newly formed animals, pruning the lush trees and picking clean the laden branches might have been some of his chores.

Until sin.

Sin was the game-changer, and Adam and Eve were banished from the garden. Hard, back-breaking, sweat-producing work was part of the curse of sin.

How is the Christian to respond? Well, I believe that God's redemption from sin needs to show in every area of our lives including our work. As a Christian, I need to be the best, most conscientious, most hard-working employee (or writer, or housekeeper, or mother...) possible.

What does that look like? I've had several jobs over the years that weren't naturally giving me pleasure. I'd go through the normal ups and downs of loving my job and then not-so-much. Those not-so-much periods drove me to my knees begging God to either put me in a new place of work or to help change my attitude. In one job I had God change my attitude amazingly after several slumps. He is so faithful. In my last job, I prayed and prayed that God would help me to work with all my heart as I was finishing. It was a job that had been a struggle, but I wanted to finish well. Again, God came through. I want to teach, write, market, clean, cook and do laundry with the joy that God has given me.

Why is it important to find joy in our work? Christians are called to reflect Jesus to the world in everything we do. I need to find joy, meaning and purpose in my work to reflect that Jesus can give something different. He can redeem us from the curse in every area of life.

I hope you all have a great labor day. We started with s'mores at the fire pit last night, but we'll probably do some labor in the yard today. What are your plans?

Friendships for Seasons

I went to a site this morning to look for a friendship poem that was running around in the back of my mind. It talks about friends being there for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Here's the funny thing...sad really. The comments that followed the poem posted on someone else's blog were a huge mud-slinging fight over who wrote the poem. There were several "authors" each claiming to have written the original poem in a different year.

I just thought how interesting it was to have such acrimony over a poem about friendship. It's funny that it points to the truth. Friendships are one of the most valuable human experiences, but they are also one of the most tricky. It can be one of the things that gives the most joy in life and one that causes the most heart ache.

My friend John said one time, "I want to mature, not just grow older." Part of my process in the struggle to gain maturity and not just wrinkles is my outlook on friendship. In the last few years, I have really been working to embrace the idea of the poem I was looking for. Not all friendships last a lifetime, and I want to be ok with that. I want to value each friendship for what it is or for what it was.

I'm realizing that only a small handful of women are the ones that I'll still be close to when I'm old, but that I can reflect thankfully on a lifetime of friendships--

My childhood friends who shared secrets and firsts.

My college friends who shared dorm rooms and early independence.

My teaching friends who shared lesson plans and the joys and frustrations of a room full of children.

My toddler days friends who shared play groups and recipes.

My soccer field friends who shared cheering and consoling.

My church friends who shared faith, growth and lessons.

My neighbor friends who shared yard work, chats on the porch and split perrenials.

I want to cherish them all and look back with love rather than regret or bitterness over ones that have faded. I have to confess that sometimes it's hard to let go with completely open hands, but that's my goal.

How are you dealing with friendships that have faded away? Do you ever struggle with that like I do?

I'm so challenged by this time issue and how it affects my relationships. It's definitely a place of struggle for me, but these are some things that I'm considering as I try to live life intentionally:

Our Calendar
First, we need to start each day by asking God to set our agenda. Instead of coming to God with our full calendars for His blessing, we need to come with a blank calendar and ask Him to fill it. You see, we can trust God to give us the strength and ability to do each task that He’s called us to accomplish. He is our portion, and we will have everything we need if we don’t try to outwork the provision of His portion. Jeremiah wisely said it like this, “I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’” (Lamentations 3:24 NIV)

Our Commitments
We also need to experience the freedom to say “no”. I had a pastor say something which has really helped me in this area. He said, “When you say ‘yes’ to something which is not God’s assignment for you, you block the person who is truly called to that assignment.” I had never thought of “no” as a positive word before! When I prayerfully say “no” to someone’s request, I have done the very good thing of leaving that assignment open for the one who is called. Remember that the next time you need to say “no”, and you will be able to release the weight of responsibility and walk away free.

Our Priorities
Finally, we need to be flexible and be prepared to have our agenda interrupted. Jesus is the perfect model for this idea. Some of His most powerful and memorable interactions with people happened on the way to do something else. The woman at the well (John 4:1-26) and the woman with an issue of blood (Luke 8:40-48) are just two examples.

God’s agenda for me on any given day may include a child with a heart broken from teasing, a friend who has just received a grave diagnosis, a co-worker who is struggling with her marriage, or a husband who needs encouragement. We have to be intentional about recognizing these interruptions and stopping to meet the need in order to build strong relationships. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I was so busy that I didn't notice,” rings hollow and leaves people with a sad realization of where they fall on our list of priorities. “Of course I have time for you,” is a phrase that fills the most discouraged heart with joy.

I believe our time issues largely become non-issues when we let God set our agenda, we learn to say no and we make time for divine interruptions. Even though it sometimes requires sacrifice, when our time priorities matching our relationship values there becomes space and air for those relationships to grow and thrive.

Thank you so much to everyone who left a comment on friendship. Ya'll have given me a lot of food for thought. I used Random.org to generate a random number (6), and Christie Aug. 27 at 5:13 pm is the winner! Christie, email me your mailing address, and I'll have Rachel's book sent to you from our office.