Fear of failure.
This morning as I worked through today's Made to Crave exercises in the participant's guide, I once again felt that hard place of resistance in my heart. "What's that about?" I wondered.
It's fear of failure. I've often joked (while others laugh and I self-flagellate) that I've been Weigh Down and Weigh Back Up. I've done Weight Watchers and Cake Watchers--several times. I have been to the Southbeach and then back to the Northbeach where all the fluffy people bask in the sun.
I've done this journey before. Why will this be different?
I have an answer to that question this morning. It's different, because we're addressing my heart and not just my eating habits.
Here's the question that brought my "aha moment" this morning: "For each temptation you wrote down (Lysa has us record our temptations that come with the cravings, lust of the eyes and boasting), how would you describe the craving--what you wanted most of all--behind the temptation?"
Ohhhhh...now we're talking a language that I understand. God's been speaking to me about it for weeks now. Do you know what I mean from previous posts?
Idols. Those wrong cravings are idols.
What are mine? The desire to have my own way without any consequences and the desire for luxurious comfort.
I'm not without hope though. Lysa points this out about how Eve and Jesus were both tempted:
"Eve and Jesus had similar responses to their temptations--they both kept a laser-like focus on their desires. The difference between them was what they wanted most of all--what they craved. Eve's cravings displaced God and made Him secondary to her other desires....Jesus' cravings asserted God supremacy over every other desire, even a legitimate desire for food...."
I've prayed for God to "change my wanter" before, but back then I was praying for Him to change my desire for sugar-laden goodies to fruits and veggies. Today I'm praying for my wanter to change from wanting my own way to desiring His way above all else. That's going to change several areas of my life!
What's your "aha moment" from Made to Crave this week?
Friday, January 14, 2011
Fear of failure.