I'm finding myself a little on the edge. Lots of you who have gone through this graduation process know exactly what I mean. The highs and lows of emotion are giving me a severe case of whip-lash.
It's also weird how I'm experiencing "the lasts". I sat through Anson's last band concert last week completely dry-eyed. It was one of those times that the woman who inevitably cries at Hallmark and coffee commercials (that one at Christmas with the sister welcoming her brother home from Africa did me in) should have been having a melt down. But nothing. Nada.
On the other hand, I can barely make it through Target. Only the day before the last concert, I was standing in line in Target watching the young mom in front of me. She had two adorable little boys, and she was just wonderful with them. I smiled as she talked cheerfully to them and then almost laughed out loud when she found something snuck into the cart by her oldest son. She firmly had the cashier do a refund and said, "When I say 'no', I mean 'no'."
It was such a pleasure to watch great mothering, and I lean forward to tell her so...but then had to stop. Mid-lean I had the thought, "It wasn't too long ago that it was me standing in line with two adorable but ornery little boys."
I opened my mouth to speak and then shut it again. I needed all my energy to stop the imminent sob that rushed to escape. I spent the rest of my time in line concentrating on breathing through my nose so that the tears didn't flow.
I'm a psycho woman these days.
But today I'm happy watching my man-children walk out the door to one of the last days of school, and the verse from James pops in my head, James 5: 13b, "Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise."
So this morning I sing.
Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him, all creatures here below.
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host.
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen!
It's also weird how I'm experiencing "the lasts". I sat through Anson's last band concert last week completely dry-eyed. It was one of those times that the woman who inevitably cries at Hallmark and coffee commercials (that one at Christmas with the sister welcoming her brother home from Africa did me in) should have been having a melt down. But nothing. Nada.
On the other hand, I can barely make it through Target. Only the day before the last concert, I was standing in line in Target watching the young mom in front of me. She had two adorable little boys, and she was just wonderful with them. I smiled as she talked cheerfully to them and then almost laughed out loud when she found something snuck into the cart by her oldest son. She firmly had the cashier do a refund and said, "When I say 'no', I mean 'no'."
It was such a pleasure to watch great mothering, and I lean forward to tell her so...but then had to stop. Mid-lean I had the thought, "It wasn't too long ago that it was me standing in line with two adorable but ornery little boys."
I opened my mouth to speak and then shut it again. I needed all my energy to stop the imminent sob that rushed to escape. I spent the rest of my time in line concentrating on breathing through my nose so that the tears didn't flow.
I'm a psycho woman these days.
But today I'm happy watching my man-children walk out the door to one of the last days of school, and the verse from James pops in my head, James 5: 13b, "Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise."
So this morning I sing.
Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Praise Him, all creatures here below.
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host.
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen!
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3 comments:
Totally relate to this!!! EVERYTHING is changing so quickly and it is HARD! My guys are only 13 and 11 so I'm not dealing yet with their graduation, although my sweet girl is in nursing school (at the moment she's in Guatemala) and I just can't believe she's all grown up. I really, really liked having little people, and I miss it!
Love that doxology!
And hang in there, my sweet friend, endings are really beginnings.
Love and hugs!
Oh Amy~I know exactly how you feel!!! I just graduated my oldest daughter this past Sunday. I still have a 15 year old at home (3 more years with her) {sigh}. For the most part I've held it together through the "lasts". I only teared up a couple of times during the ceremony. However, she wrote a poem to her dad and I about growing up. I've read it twice and cried twice. Sad to see her off to college but happy she is a beautiful, young adult who I am very proud of!!
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