Guilty Pleasure Friday

I look forward to Fridays. A lot. And I'm not sure I'm ready to confess why.

Do you have a guilty pleasure? Something you know isn't deep growth material but appeals to your girlie and feeds your shallow?

I've got a pleasure like that. Here goes...true confessions.

Say "Yes" to the Dress.

LOVE.

I love the fashion. I love the big personalities. I love the psychology of relationships of all kinds.

(My guys don't really love any of it, but they tolerate it.)

Here's a clip just in case you aren't aware of Say "Yes".



I have to tell the truth. This is an elevated clip and may not best represent the "guilty pleasure-ness" of this show. I'd like you to see it in its best light, though. :)

This show makes me want to pick out a wedding dress again, although I loved this one at the time.(Can you say 1990s?)

Even with a different dress, I'd keep the exact same groom, and I'd marry him again any day of the week!  I got really excited about this idea last night and made a new Pinterest board.  Check it out here.

So, seriously, do you have a reality tv show that you love?  Which one and why?  Do you think reality tv is affecting/changing our culture?  I'm working on a message about cultural conflicts, and I'm processing thoughts about reality tv.  I'd love to hear yours!

Byproduct Blessings

Day 3.  Check!

On Monday I wrote about our family's attempt at pre-school morning devotions.  I thought that it was so interesting that my friend Lynn Cowell wrote about the same thing for Encouragement for Today this morning.  (Check back next week as Lynn guest blogs here!)

Lest you start to think that our family is super-spiritual, let me just get the truth out there.  Morning 3 of the alarm clock was way harder than morning 1.  Also, I don't have a great track record for finishing what I've started.  If you've ever wondered why I start series on things like wunning or memorizing James and then you don't hear anymore...is that enough of a confession?

But there is already a byproduct of our morning devotions that is unexpected and wonderful enough to keep me going--hearing Nolan pray. I'm gaining encouragement, spiritual insight and a glimpse at my boy's heart that is both surprising and delightful.

As the boys have gotten older and have started having their own prayer and Bible reading time, our family prayer time has fallen off, but the last three mornings have reminded me of why it's so important.  I thought I'd be modeling prayer, but it turns out that I'm the learner!

I'd love to hear your family devotions stories.  How do you follow through and keep going even with busy schedules?

First Day of School

Back to school.

That phrase always stirs up a mixture of feelings in my heart.

Excitement--I was the little girl who thrived in school and then became a school teacher.  If somebody would pay for me to go back to college, I'd be a perpetual student.  I love fresh notebooks and a newly sharpened pencil.  I know.  It's a sickness.

Dread--Despite adoring school, I have never had a love affair with my alarm clock.  Our family has enjoyed the late nights and late mornings of the summer.  (With teenagers, it's more accurate to say that our day sometimes started early afternoon.  Ha!)

Joy--My boys are always excited to see their friends, and I look forward to a more structured life.  I'm usually over it by March or so, but I do love me some structure.

Melancholy--I really love family time, and school cuts seriously into our family time.  With Anson leaving for college this year, our house is quieter, and I think the remaining 3 of us are all struggling with a little sadness.

This year I stirred a little anticipation into the mix with a new routine in our household.  I shared a couple of years ago that our family set a goal to read through the Bible in a year.  I should confess now that we met that goal with limited success.  We didn't anticipate how difficult it was going to be to have all four of us in a room for an extended period every day, and we weren't always able to do our reading daily.  We read through the Old Testament, though, and our time together in God's Word was a real blessing.

This year I met a new friend at a local event who has a family blog.  When I went to check it out, I got really excited about her topic--having 10-minute family devotions before school.  I'm thinking that this is going to work better than trying to do them in the evenings.

For all the details, please visit Wendy's blog by clicking here.  You'll need to read the series, and there is a link to a reading guide included.  It will take you through the New Testament and Psalms in a school year.  I'm sure we won't do this perfectly, but...Day one--check!

For more encouragement for back-to-school moms, made sure not to miss my friend Glynnis' devotion today.

You're Invited to a Party with a Purpose!

I'm so excited I am almost doing a little chair dance while I type this!! I'm finally going to have a Trades of Hope party right here in Holly Springs, NC, and if you live near me, you're invited!!!

You might be wondering things like, "What's Trades of Hope?  And why in the world is Amy so excited?"

I was introduced to Trades of Hope by my friend Heatherly several years ago.  Heatherly is one of their Compassion Entrepreneurs, and she told me all about how the parties she does help women in need all around the world.  You can read more about Heatherly's story here.

Ever since I've heard about this simple way for me to connect with women worldwide right in my hometown, I've been dying to have a party.  You can read more about my growing heart's desire here.

After writing about it in the Proverbs 31 Woman magazine and practically begging for help :), Lynn Ritter, a Compassion Entrepreneur from Trades of Hope contacted me.  We've been planning ever since.

Here are a few of the items that we'll show, and each item has a story to go with it.

Spiral Brass Cuff: These bracelets are made by the women at Noah's Ark Mission who are able to work from home. They no longer have to work 12-14 hour days at the sweatshops like so many women in India. They get to spend time with their families and make a fair wage! Many people in India are unable to read and write, as most cannot afford an education. Noah's Ark Mission has started a school for three of the poorest villages in the area and helps provide clean water! Their goal is to train their artisans to own their own business, so that they can provide for their family!

Wire Love Bowl: Artisans at the Noah's Ark Mission made these bowls working from home. They get to spend time with their families and make a fair wage. No more Indian sweatshops for these ladies! Many people in India are unable to read and write, as most cannot afford an education. So, Noah's Ark Mission has started a school for three of the poorest villages in the area. They also provide clean water! Their goal is to train their artisans to own their own business, so that they can provide for their family!

Shades of the World Scarf: These beautiful scarves are made by the women of Asha Handicrafts Association. They are young women who are being empowered to be self-reliant. In India so many girls get trapped into the sex trade because they are taught they have no value. Fair Trade is helping to change that conservative mindset. By making these handcrafts, they are stepping out and taking care of themselves. These women are becoming respected in their villages. A purchase of this scarf changes a life all the way across the world!

Even though my passion and love for India shows through in the items I picked to show, there are many more beautiful handicrafts from places like Haiti, Africa and even right here in the US.  You can view the whole catalog on the Trades of Hope website.

So....drumroll please...save the date for Saturday, October 20 from 1:30-3:30. And here's the deal.  If you want to buy some items, wonderful!  If you don't want to buy anything or you don't have the means right now, I still want you to come.  We'll have yummy food in a fabulous setting with the funnest (you know what I mean) women in Wake County.  Also, you'll get a chance to learn about the needs of your sisters worldwide and ways you can pray and help.

If you live in my area (Wake County, NC) and you'd like to attend, please let me know by emailing me at amy@proverbs31.org, and I'll send you all the details.  I'll also remind everyone closer to the time, but I wanted to let you schedule the fun as soon as possible. See you on Oct. 20th!

Faithfulness Speaking to a Funk

I woke up in a funk this morning.  Do you ever do that?  It seemed like it hit as soon as my mind came awake, and I felt the weight of my schedule, the financial responsibility of sending a man-child to college and a myriad of other misc. worries.

I had a morning call scheduled, and then the tv, breakfast and grocery list called.  But amidst those calls, another Voice spoke.  "Come sit with me."

And this morning I chose to sit...

While these words of encouragement lifted my soul.

"Trust Me, and don't be afraid.  I want you to view trials as exercises designed to develop your trust-muscles."  ~Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

"The Lord watches over you--the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm--he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forever more.  Psalm 121:5-8

"I bind unto myself today, the power of God to hold and lead,
His eye to watch, His might to stay, His ear to hearken to my need,
the wisdom of my God to teach, His hand to guide, His shield to ward,
the Word of God to give me speech, his heavenly host to be my guard.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me;
Christ to comfort and restore me;
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger."  ~St. Patrick, St. Patrick's Lorica (Breastplate)

I'm so thankful that when the funk hits and faithful words fail me that there's a host of witnesses, generations wide, to speak Truth into my heart.

 

Saving a Child

This beautiful story of hope came in my Compassion Ambassador email today.  I wanted to share it with you, because it shows the power of child sponsorship in protecting children from the dangers of their impoverished world.

In the ninth grade, Murgeshwari was pulled out of school and forced to work full-time. Her parents had seen advertisements promising large sums of money for parents who would send their children away to work in factories. Murgeshwari's parents, who barely made enough money to survive, sadly gave in.

Murgeshwari was sent 300 miles away to work in a thread factory. She remembers working such long hours that she grew weak. Even when she felt sick, her supervisors refused to let her have a day off. As she worked, large amounts of dust would clog in her nose and she had trouble breathing.

As soon as the staff at Murgeshwari’s Compassion child development center realized what had happened, they went to her parents, hoping to convince them to let their daughter come back home.

Murgeshwari’s parents finally agreed. Two staff members from Murgeshwari’s Compassion center went to the factory to bring her home. But the managers at the factory refused, saying her parents had signed a contract. The staff members immediately went to the police. After the police threatened to take action, Murgeshwari was released.

Compassion’s Highly Vulnerable Children Care provides emergency and ongoing care to children who are exploited, orphaned, abused or suffering from other critical situations. Through this program, children like Murgeshwari can be rescued and given a new beginning.

Please consider sponsoring a child today.  It's as easy as clicking on the Compassion button on my sidebar!

Food for Thought and Fodder for Action

I want to share this convicting passage I read yesterday in The Hole in Our Gospel.  It hurt my toes but challenged my heart.

Our Christian habit is to bewail the world's deteriorating standards with an air of rather self-righteous dismay.  We criticize its violence, dishonesty, immorality, disregard for human life, and materialistic greed.  "The world is going down the drain," we say with a shrug.  But whose fault is it?  Who is to blame? Let me put it like this.  If the house is dark when nightfall comes, there is no sense in blaming the house; that is what happens when the sun goes down.  The question to ask is "Where is the light?"  Similarly, if the meat goes bad and becomes inedible, there is no sense in blaming the meat; that is what happens when bacteria are left alone to breed.  The question to ask is "Where is the salt?"  Just so, if society deteriorates and its standards decline until it becomes like a dark night or a stinking fish, there is no sense in blaming society;  that is what happens when fallen men and women are left to themselves and human selfishness is unchecked.  The question to ask is "Where is the Church?  Why are the salt and light of Jesus Christ not permeating and changing our society?"  It is sheerhypocrisy on our part to raise our eyebrows, shrug our shoulders, or wring our hands.  The Lord Jesus told us to be the world's salt and light.  If therefore darkness and rottenness abound, it is largely our fault and we must accept the blame.  ~  John Stott

That passage reminds me so much of a quote that I heard came from the leader of International Justice Mission.  Evidently, he used to look around the circumstances of injustice and poverty that he was faced with and ask, "Where is God?"  Now he says he looks around and asks, "Where are God's people?"

This is the food for thought that I'm chewing on today.

PS.  I have a personal prayer request. Tomorrow we move our oldest son, Anson, to college.  Will you pray that he thrives there and that his mama's excitement for him soothes the sadness of seeing him leave?  Thank you, friends!

The Power of Our Words

Looking back, the theme this week hasn't really been about compliments or criticism.  It's been about the power of words.  This verse rings loud and true in my life today, "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.  James 1:26    

I wrote on the Next Step blog about how God is speaking loudly to me about the power of my words as I talk to my friends who don't know and love Jesus.  Click here to read that post. 

My heart is being broken in the best way, and I heard a song just this week that expresses exactly what God has been speaking that's bringing me to my knees.  Please take a minute to listen.  Weekend blessings, friend!

Giving Critique Without the Ouch

"Beloved, I just don't need to know that."

I heard that statement, softened with a sweet southern accent and a smile, given more than once by our church's secretary and resident godly woman. When people in her office began to "share a prayer request" (Christian code for gossip), Mona would simply smile and stop the "sharing" cold.  It was a loving but firm rebuke that I also received when I needed it!

Mona became much more than a partner in women's ministry to me.  She became my friend and mentor, and I learned so much from her about telling truths gently and with love.  She embodied the scripture, "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." (Proverbs 25:11). 

I came to depend on her as someone I could always count on to tell me the truth and point me to Jesus.  Her friendship was as beautiful as the jewelry described in that Proverbs verse. Largely because of her, I began to hope I could become that faithful, loyal, loving, truth-telling friend.

I have to be honest and tell you that I've made a lot of mistakes and stumbles along the way to this goal.  It's not an easy task to become a loving truth-teller, and it takes more character than I've often had.

After my devotion on Monday, I decided that I'd write here on Monday about giving compliments and Wednesday on saying hard things well. I didn't realize then that my friend Lysa's Tuesday devotion would be on criticism. Here are her wise words about receiving criticism with my thoughts about how it applies to giving criticism:

"No criticism is fun, but it can be helpful if it is from a wise person speaking words that are truly intended to help us. Proverbs 15:2a says, 'The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge ...' To me, a wise person is someone who:"

• "Cares enough about me to get their facts straight and isn't speaking out of assumption."

Amy's note: My biggest, most painful mistakes with friends have come when I haven't taken time and jumped to snap judgements.  There are things that only the people in the situation know, and I always need to come from a place of giving the benefit of doubt.

• "Has talked to God and reflects a gentle, caring tone in their communication."

Amy's note: Emails or texts are NEVER, EVER the place to have a hard conversation. They don't convey emotion accurately. The two main times that I have blown it monumentally with people I love were because I wrote a letter and an email. Ideally, difficult conversations should be done face to face. Tone of voice, expressive eyes and facial expressions help to soften hard words and convey love most powerfully.

One very practical technique that I was taught was to sandwich criticism between two positives. Open with a positive, give the criticism, close with a positive. The positives have to be genuine, but finding those positives helps to also remind me of the things I love about the person.

•"And wraps their criticism with grace and humility."

Amy's note: The only way that we can wrap criticism in grace, humility and love is if we take Lysa's first point above--we need to listen to God first.  Only He can expose any of my less-than-pure motives, adjust my out-of-whack emotions and give me the right words and approach. I've learned the hard way to listen to His still, small voice or to pay attention to small "stops" in my spirit or lack of peace. I shouldn't move forward toward a conversation at all until everything between God and me is cleared.

"This kind of criticism is given with the intent of sharing helpful wisdom that is constructive rather destructive." ~Lysa TerKeurst

Have you learned any powerful principles about sharing hard truths well? If so, please share. This is an area I still struggle with, and I'd treasure your insights!

Giving Compliments that Count

In my Encouragement for Today devotion, The Opinion Blender, I talked about learning to receive compliments, but I've also learned over the years that there's an art to giving a compliment as well.

If you think about compliments you've received over the years, there are probably only a few that stick in your memory.  Why is that?  What makes a compliment significant enough to remember?  Can I learn to give compliments that count to others?

Here are some characteristics of a compliment that means something to me:

1.  It's sincere.
I love a compliment that rings true, but most of use have an innate sense of when a compliment comes from the heart and when there's another motive.

Mark Twain says this about a compliment with a motive, “Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable.”

A true compliment has the other person in mind and is from the heart.

2. It's specific.

When I was in college as an education major, we got a little lesson about giving compliments to kids. Make a compliment specific to make it valuable. It think it's true for adults too.

Instead of tossing out a general, "The yard looks good" to my sweaty husband, I can make it more specific and say, "Wow, you put a lot of effort into making the yard look neat and beautiful. That mowing pattern is incredible!" (You might laugh, but my man is very proud of his mowing patterns. I'd do well to compliment him on it more.)

I got one of the nicest and most memorable compliments at She Speaks this year. A woman commented not only on my speaking but on the joy that she felt coming from me. She didn't know it, but joy is one of the markers that I pray for in my life. Because she took time to be specifice, she was a particular blessing to me.

3. It's thoughtful.
I'm guilty of often throwing out very superficial compliments, but meaningful compliments take a little more thought.

I can compliment my beautiful, fashionista friend Holly on her fabulous outfit. Or I can tell her that she's a treasured friend because of the way she always leads me to look for Jesus and what he's doing in the situation I'm currently complaining about. :) OR I could do both which she would probably love!

I'm trying to look for deeper things to compliment and things that might be particularly important to that person.

Compliments, in the final analysis, are not only blessing to those who receive them. They're blessings to those who give them. Compliments make us search for the things for which we're thankful, and thankfulness is yet another mark of becoming more like Jesus.

What's the best compliment that you've ever been given? What made it so wonderful and memorable?